In love, one and one...
are...
one.
Seldom do we get the opportunity
to witness the art in love.
But that is what we
all really desire.
Not just to be loved,
but to be loved
in that all-encompassing,
Heathcliffe-on-the-moors,
one-true-love,
soulmate kind of way.
And yet, rarely are we prepared
for it when it happens by.
Perhaps you've been trying to
inject meaning into your life...
endlessly seeking that spiritual
connection in other ways.
There's no way I'm going.
That's no way
to behave, young man.
Nash, you did hear that
they're protesting downtown?
The nerve of those people.
Nerve is right.
It's all a lot of noise.
Noise and nonsense...
but we'll be there.
All of us, Pastor Barry.
Don't you worry.
That's the kind of support
we're looking for, right?
Or maybe you're one of those
rare and fortunate few
who find true love
very early in life.
For others, life might be
at its most grim.
This way, Peyton...
you can arrange your life
exactly as you want it...
And precisely as you like.
You did an amazing
job today, Lombard.
Thank you.
And as funerals go,
not too shabby.
Yeah.
I think Mom even
would have approved.
You know, if we had
a few more years,
we could have
made her a Democrat.
Maybe not.
It's really pretty, isn't it?
I need to go for a swim.
Well, do it.
And if soulmates exist,
how can we be sure that
that person we meet
or the person that we're
sharing our life with
is the one?
Here are a few stories that may
shed some light on the subject.
I'll let you be the judge.
Our families...
they kept us
apart for ten years.
We lost track.
Then, one day,
I was in the airport,
on my way
to London for school.
I saw the back
of Rasheed's head,
from across an entire airport.
I knew it was him.
I turned as if I had
no control over my body.
I turned, and I saw him.
I saw him, this man -
this beautiful man,
who I love.
This man that I love.
That is what I'm talking about.
That's what
I'm talking about!
The twin flame.
The ultimate love connection.
You know, I heard that someone
might be ovulating this morning.
Mmm, hmm.
It wouldn't happen
to be you, would it?
It would.
Then I'll be right back.
OK.
I love you.
I know.
There are no
guarantees in life, Peyton.
Be prepared for anything.
So, what time will you meet us?
Uh...not sure.
Don't tell me you're not coming.
Millie, I really
have a lot to do.
I'm very busy.
Oh, it's very clear
God's got your back.
You're running
everything here so smoothly.
But you have to
commit to your faith...
and put it to real work.
Well, you know I teach
the kinder program
on Saturday mornings,
but I really just don't think
that your interpretations--
Please. Interpretations?
That's the oldest
trick in the book.
But given that the
Bible was written in--
They are tearing us apart
with all their marriage talk
and liberal judges ruling
willy nilly in their favor.
We are not going to stand by
and allow it, Mrs. Winters.
Shame on you.
Shame on you for
undermining your husband's work.
But more importantly -
God's work.
Elena...
I'm sorry, but she just...
she's been really tired.
It's OK.
I've already forgiven her.
I knew you would.
So excuse me.
Oh, sure.
♪ And how do we mend
this whole world ♪
♪ And mold it
into something better ♪
♪ Only love
and only time ♪
♪ Will ease my mind ♪
♪ I'm looking
for something better ♪
Why do people drink tea?
It's a very civilized way
to pass the time.
I drink tea, Peyton,
because there's nothing that
a good cup of tea can't fix.
I'm so sorry.
- Did you start your period?
- Yeah.
I know how much you want this.
But maybe we're trying to hard.
Or maybe we should ask God,
pray to God
to bring us another child.
Millie.
[voicemail beep]
Hey, sweetie,
it's Aunt Lenore.
Um, the family's
a bit concerned.
No one's heard
from you in days.
We know you like your privacy,
but the nursing home called,
and you know,
your mom would be pretty
horrified if she knew
you hadn't gone to pick up
her belongings yet.
♪ And how do we mend
this whole world ♪
♪ And mold it
into something better ♪
♪ Only love
and only time... ♪
(Tyler)
Now then...
For those of your debating
the soulemetry qualities
of that special someone,
let us look at a few
of the criteria
that are absolutely necessary
if this person is indeed
your twin flame.
First of all,
this person may come
in an unusual package.
Not your typical type.
I was a nun for years,
and I was working at the
food bank when she came in,
looking like the
bad side of awful.
And so I got her
into treatment
and found her a welding job,
you know, got her
back on her feet.
And somewhere
during all of that,
I fell deeply in love with her.
But it was, it was against
everything that I believed in.
So I prayed and
went into seclusion,
but nothing, nothing
that I did could, um,
keep her from my mind.
And, um, then one morning,
I woke up in the hospital.
God, I was scared.
You were pale.
Apparently, I had passed out
from dehydration,
and when I came to,
there was Jackie...
sitting there like an angel.
I thought I'd never
see her again.
When I did...
And I knew from that moment,
even though my entire life
had been devoted to the church
and Catholic scripture,
I knew that my God
loved Jackie...
And loved me loving her.
You're gonna love this one.
It's called
"Soulemetry By The Stars."
My beautiful wife Lily
arranged the whole thing.
See ya' there.
Ah! As if on-cue.
Hey, baby.
I'm about to go snap up
that internet company
that's been cut off
at its knees.
Ah!
If they only knew what
a pussy cat you really are.
I mean, seriously.
Do I look like I belong with
this jet-setting businesswoman?
Or any woman for that matter?
All my life,
everybody thought I was gay.
Was it my sensitivity?
My extensive collection of
Barbara Streisand memorabilia?
Who can say.
When it comes to Lily,
it's the real deal.
He's all yours.
You are going to
love this story!
Or not.
Let's get you a drink.
You're not doing anything wrong.
Stop that!
Maybe it's a sign.
Well, that's why we're adopting.
Listen, my exquisite angel...
I know you better than anybody.
My God, between your
archaic parents
and Barry's crusades du jour,
it's a testament
to your strength...
Or complete insanity.
Tell me something.
What's in this for you?
Come on, give me your hands.
Give me your hands.
If I've told you once,
I've told you a thousand times,
he is not your twin flame.
Alright?
This silly little congregation.
Oh...
Interesting.
What?
I'm getting that you
should pursue the adoption.
Someone is definitely
coming into your life...
- In a big way.
- Yes. A baby.
- That's not what I'm seeing.
- Please...
I love that you do all of this.
You know I do.
I just, I'm not sure
that I believe what--
Sweetheart, there is no
denying what I'm seeing here.
Your destiny is gonna happen
whether you like it or not.
- I know what I'm talking about.
- I know you do.
Secondly, they meet.
Randomly.
Possibly, the only place
their worlds could intersect.
Sorry, I just had
a quick question.
I can't help but notice that I'm
the only single person here,
and I, I just wanted
to know, um, I mean,
I have a job as a writer,
I just, I didn't know if
there was a longer process--
No, it's just as long, whether
you're single or married.
And all the paperwork's
right in here for you.
OK. Thank you.
Are you...
Are these yours?
Oh! Thank you!
I'm sorry. I'm so silly.
It happens to me all the time.
I just forgot my bag!
I don't mean to pry,
but are you OK?
Oh, yes.
I'm just, I am...
It's all just
a little bit overwhelming.
Yeah. I know.
I, uh, heard you talking.
Um, why do you want
to do this alone?
Uh, well, it hadn't
really been the plan -
but you know what?
It's a long story.
Right.
You're the writer.
That's funny.
What about you?
What do you do?
I'm a photographer, actually.
Well, I used to be
a photographer.
I better be going.
OK. Do you have a card?
I'm always
looking for photographers.
I do.
Me too, somewhere.
It's, um, well,
it's kind of old.
It's great.
It works!
- Thank you.
- Sure.
You're welcome.
- Bye.
Hey, it's me!
Where are you?
In the kitchen.
Thank God you live
across the street.
I am so stuck in a loop here.
Whoa... Geez-o.
Help a sister out, will you?
Well, here we go!
For medicinal purposes -
isn't that what you need?
Is there a cricket in the house?
Yeah.
That's going to
drive me freaking mad.
Oh, great.
OK, shoo shoo the cricket.
Yeah, I just feel
so out of control.
I mean, you'd think
I'd be able to beat it.
I wrote the damn book on it.
Oh, come on.
That was before
your mom's death.
Not to mention psycho-chick
cheating on you
with my girlfriend!
It wasn't all her fault.
You know, I was completely
MIA once my mom got sick.
Yeah, you're way too forgiving.
Honestly, I don't know why
you wanted to procreate
with her anyway.
I mean, you have
seen "Rosemary's Baby."
You know, at least
with Margaret,
we were compatible.
[laughs]
Yeah.
Lombard!
I've know you
since high school,
and you were with her
because she was safe!
There was about as much passion
between you and Devil Woman
as a bloody rice cracker!
I mean, they're very nice.
But I don't want
one in my vagina,
and I'm absolutely sure
that you don't either!
Oh, my God.
And I know I'm different.
You know?
I go through 'em
like socks in a drawer,
but at least I get to feel.
I get highs,
lows, schmucky...
And all good and fucky!
So you are going to have to put
your wonderful heart out there
and get to feel all these
wonderful feelings, too.
But until that time,
you are under strict orders
to only do things that
make you feel good.
Not bad. Good.
OK.
Don't ever let them
see your pain, Peyton.
Don't let your
guard down, ever.
Look, Lombard.
This love guru is supposed
to be the absolute best.
OK, Wave.
Anything to get
out of this house.
Remember that chick
I was seeing on Friday?
Mmm, hmm.
She was dating Erin and my ex.
I don't even want to hear it.
You said your eyes
were wide open.
Yeah, well?
I'm legally blind
in my left eye,
so thank you very much
for your sensitivity.
You know what you're like?
You're like the
lesbian Jennifer Aniston.
Why in the hell do you think
we're going to this thing?
Where are you
going all dolled up?
You know I'm going
to Tyler's event.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
You know, I still don't get it.
He was on his way to
being one of the best
directors in film school,
and now he's messin' around
with his soul foods?
- Soulemetry.
- Soulemetry?
- Yeah.
- Mmm, hmm.
Yeah...
I don't get it.
He lives for this.
And I live for...this.
You know, maybe you could
wear this next date night.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
Well, maybe if you get lucky,
I'll get home early.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
See ya later.
The cookie...
Look, Lombard,
this love guru is supposed
to be the absolute best.
Tell me why I have to
go to this thing again.
Because if I do find
my soulmate, you must approve!
And I figured we'd find
you one while we're at it.
♪ Love! ♪
♪ One and one are One ♪
♪ The heart of love ♪
♪ Reveals the beauty
of our soul ♪
How many times do
our eyes simply not see?
Your soulmate could be standing
right next to you right now,
and you wouldn't even know it.
That's because you
have your true self,
and what I call
your celebrity self.
The one that's
obsessed with ego,
the one that wants the hunk
or the thick brown hair,
the bedroom eyes.
Ah, you know what I'm
talking about, don't you?
You know, you recognize,
you really recognize.
These pairings never work out.
And when they fail,
we wonder why, why, why,
with our broken
hearts and our bruised egos.
Now don't get me wrong.
I'm not saying physical
attraction isn't important.
Of course, it is.
Hello!
What I am saying
is don't confuse
the attraction to the physical
with the yearning of the soul.
Given its chance, the true self,
the higher self will always
break through to find
its soul partner.
And trust me, it could come from
the person you least expect it.
Chew on that...
and some hors d'oeuvres.
I'm going to start my
readings in a few minutes.
Welcome, welcome.
[applause]
That woman over there?
No, no, don't look.
She's trying to hit on me.
Seriously!
Oh, my God,
she is not coming over here.
Uh, excuse me...
Pardon me.
- Hey.
There you are.
Oh, my God.
Could she be any more stunning?
- You were great.
- Thank you.
I am Tyler Montegue,
and you are...
Peyton.
I actually met Peyton
at the adoption center.
Small world.
Small world. Six degrees.
What's that even mean?
This delusion with accidents.
I'm going to start my readings.
Well, since this was
obviously pre-ordained,
do you wanna get a drink?
- I would love to.
- OK.
I feel like I'm at the races,
always picking the wrong horse.
That's just it.
Has it ever occurred
to let love find you?
Peyton, you're so brave...
To want to have
a baby on your own.
You never thought
about getting married?
Oh, I was married.
I thought you said
you were single.
I am - now.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- That's OK.
How long were you married?
Six years.
You?
Fifteen.
What happened?
I don't know.
I guess all the
predictable stuff.
My partner couldn't handle
all the time I spent
with my ailing mother.
Your partner?
Mm hmm.
Your partner..
You're, um...
(both)
Gay.
Well, I think that
that is just fine.
I voted no on Prop 8.
Or was it yes on Prop 8?
I don't know, it was all
very, very confusing,
but I know that
I voted the right way.
I mean, I voted your way.
I just, I don't want you to
think that it's a problem for me
because it's really not.
I mean, why would it be?
Oh, God, I'm sounding
pretty ridiculous!
You're fine.
Well, apparently,
I am inspiration
for looking for love
in all the wrong places.
Well, it looks like
this was a bust for me,
- but, um, you two--
- Wave.
This is Elena Winters.
Pleased to meet you.
I really have to run.
My husband has
early services tomorrow.
Barry's a pastor.
Oh!
Hmm, that, uh...
Cool!
It was nice
running into you again.
Pleased to meet you, Wave.
I will see you, Peyton.
[snickers]
You fancy her...
And she fancies you.
Don't even talk to me.
Did you know that a snail
can sleep for three years?
Mmm, mmm.
Can you even imagine
waking up one day
to realize that you've literally
slept half of your life away?
Nash, I heard you
skipped Bible study.
Yup. Sure did.
I really don't care what
they're crusading against.
And Dad doesn't either.
Your Dad--
Got the role of a lifetime, Mom.
Playing pastor was the only
gig he could actually book.
C'mon... You know it.
We all know it.
What?
[phone rings]
Hello.
Yeah, she's right here.
- It's for you.
- Oh.
Hello?
- Nash, take a jacket!
- No.
Would you make
him take a jacket?
Elena?
Oh, hi, Peyton!
Do you remember the
women's glory project
I was talking about?
I was wondering if I could
see some samples of your work.
I could, um...
bring my portfolio over...
I could even do it tomorrow.
These are good.
I'm impressed.
Aww...
She's beautiful.
Children are my
favorite subjects.
I love the set-up.
They're so innocent, so raw.
They show
everything they're feeling.
I love this one.
That's me, actually.
It's great.
I had an idea.
I lit it, and I thought...
might as well.
It's really good.
I mean, they are all good.
Why didn't you keep this up?
You know, family.
Life.
I think it's
a wonderful project, Peyton.
I think you would be great,
if you're interested.
Yes! I'm definitely interested.
OK.
So where did this
idea come from?
Well, my mom got really sick.
We ended up
connecting just more deeply,
and I realized how much
more interesting she was
than I ever
gave her credit for.
And women are so complex,
so multi-dimensional.
I just want to dig in.
I want to show
all their colors...
Show everything that
makes a woman so delicious!
Oh.
[cell phone beeping]
I've got to run.
Oh.
But we can meet Sunday -
if that's good for you,
to keep things moving forward.
Sure.
That'd be great.
- Bye.
Mmmm.
How could you, of all people,
manage to run out of coffee?
Thank you so much.
You can go.
What's with you,
ants in your pants?
I have a business meeting.
- Here? On a Sunday?
- Yeah. I do.
Um...
Thank you so much
for bringing this.
Now give me a minute.
- Oh! Hello!
- Hi!
It's Wave, right?
Right! That would be me!
So you must be the,
uh, business meeting.
- Yes.
- Got it!
- Come on in.
- OK. Bye.
When I say do stuff
that feels good,
I don't mean do
straight, married stuff!
OK.
Don't start!
Is this you?
I mean, your story?
- Yeah.
- Oh, wow.
I think of an agoraphobic,
like in "Grey Gardens,"
you know,
all huddled up in a corner
with a bunch of cats!
Yeah, well, all the new meds
make us far more acceptable.
Really, I would
never have known.
Can I make a suggestion?
You need a new author's photo.
This one just
doesn't do you justice!
It's not about what
I look like in my line of work.
It's more about my words.
Nonsense.
I'm going to do a new
author's photo for you...
My gift.
OK.
Man...
♪ Tell me, are you wonderin'? ♪
♪ Do you think
you've gone mad? ♪
♪ Are you speakin'
another language ♪
♪ That no one understands? ♪
♪ 'Cause you talk
to the ocean ♪
♪ And you listen to the birds ♪
♪ Everyone around you ♪
♪ Wonders what you heard ♪
♪ You're not broken ♪
- I'm so sorry I'm late.
- Hey! How are you?
- Hi!
This is my son!
Nash! I've heard about you.
Nice to meet you.
- Hi.
- And you must be Tori.
And you must be the writer!
You know what my
dream job would be?
Research assistant.
I mean, I would do the
deepest, meanest,
most intimate statistical
research on any given topic,
and I would correlate
and extrapolate,
and I would give meaning,
meaning to each
and every single part.
And it would just
be so amazing!
She'd be really great at it.
Checkmate. I win.
That is why you never
take your eye off the ball.
That's right!
Please, darling, don't
eviscerate the poor child.
- Hey, Ty.
- Mmm?
Tell Peyton the story.
Alright, if you insist.
So...
This earnest young writer comes
to Hollywood to make his mark,
and all very
Youngblood Hawke, right?
Very soon he realizes
that, um, life is...
seldom the stuff
of romance novels.
He buys himself a Lexus...
Per chance, did you
drive a white Lexus?
No. Don't even say it.
The owner of the clunker turns
out to be the very assistant
who gave him his start.
Can you believe it?
They would come
at the exact same time.
Soulemetry, soulemetry.
Three months later....
- Married.
- They were married.
Do you love it?
Do you love it?!
A coincidence!
That's why God
performs a miracle
and decides to
remain anonymous.
No.
It's when God gives you a choice
and you make the right one.
That's the miracle.
I thought she'd be great
to have a child with, you know?
Make a family...
You know, Barry and I
only have one thing in common,
and that's our son, so...
I don't know.
Sometimes I just
think I got married
to rebel against my parents.
My father's Indian.
He's...very old school.
You know, stern but quiet hand.
My mother's from Spain...
She's very Catholic.
Now that's a lethal combination.
I know! It really is!
It really is.
For years I just have
felt like a mummy.
Just...
Yeah, at first I was
really happy with Barry.
After some time, I...
I just started to think,
what's wrong with me?
Why don't I feel what
everybody else feels?
I don't think I've ever
been in love with him.
But he's in love with you?
I don't know.
I think sometimes,
marriage is just a series
of compromises that...
I don't know.
Maybe some of us are not
meant to have a soulmate...
Like Tyler thinks.
What about you?
- Me?
- Yeah.
Well...
I don't know about
soulmates, but...
I'm with Margaret...
After that...
Frankly, my dear,
I don't care if I never see
another lesbian
for as long as I live.
I'm not kidding.
Oh, goodness.
All I really want is a baby.
And honestly, that's probably
all I ever needed
in the first place.
This point is key.
Everything feels
completely brand new,
but absolutely familiar.
OK, you...
Sit.
OK.
Can I ask you something?
Uh, oh.
It's a rather personal question.
Go ahead.
How did you know
you were gay?
How'd you know
you were straight?
I mean, did you know
from the beginning?
No.
Actually, I did the
whole straight thing
up until my early 20s.
But then, I fell
head over heels
for this, um,
photographer, actually.
Mmmm.
Well, we can be very deep.
Hmmm.
What about you?
Well, I never knew
you were supposed
to be anything but straight.
No school girl crushes?
No...Royal Academy
experimentation?
Nothing.
I never even kissed a girl.
No.
With my upbringing,
that never really
occurred to me.
I guess I'm just a square!
Or maybe you're just straight.
You mind if I move
around a little bit?
Pardon me?
Oh...
No, yeah, no.
♪
Yeah, I think I got it.
Got it.
That was great.
[whistling]
Uh, hey, Mama Bear.
Hmmm?
Are you aware
that the entire time
I've crashed here
at your house,
I have never once
heard you whistle -
a nonverbal expression of
happiness or pleasure?
Oh, come on.
I'm sure I've whistled before.
Hey, Tori...
Do you know any...
the gay girls
at your school?
You mean lesbians?
Excuse me,
but the last time I looked,
you were hanging out
with a lesbian named Peyton.
Well, yeah,
but Peyton's not really--
Yeah, yeah, I know.
She could pass for straight.
Anyway, a normal person engages
in the pursuit of kissing
a mere 21,000
plus or minus minutes
in their sorry little lives.
Which boils down
roughly to mere months.
So, who cares who kissing whom?
- Really?
- Really!
I mean, over the lifespan
of an average 80-year-old,
they're only having
sex six times a year.
I mean, we take more baths
and eat more chocolate bars,
for gosh sakes!
And yet, this whole gay thing,
literally,
has everybody from
the religious right
all the way to Papa Bear's
knickers in a twist.
I know.
And FYI... he's no fan
of your new friend either.
What?!
Mom...
Don't worry.
Dad's just grumbling
about how much time
you and Peyton spend together.
But I personally think
it's kinda cool,
'cause you're not all
caught up in the church,
and it makes me kind of proud.
Just so you're
completely informed, Nash,
according to the specialist
who was on
Queen Oprah the other day,
straight women everywhere
are suddenly wanting
to be with other women -
to experience their
newfound, um, sexual fluidity.
- You OK, Mom?
- Yeah.
Wow.
Anyway...
Um, lesbo 101 -
in a nutshell.
Yeah, but that's
not my mom, so...
Well, obviously,
that's not Mama Bear.
Don't get so defensive!
Gosh!
You know, I think you two are
what Tyler calls Twin Flames.
I do, and you found each
other so early in life!
Oh, Ma, come on!
Think of all the time left
you have to bicker, you two!
Yeah.
While your world's may seem
utterly disconnected,
the paths that you have
individually taken
bring you together
at freakish randomness.
My father was in the service so
we jumped all over the world,
and I made Spain my home.
And my mother was a gypsy
and so we travelled a lot,
from one town to the next,
and I ended up in LA.
My best friend's brother,
he had his wedding in New York,
which is where we met.
And we got stuck
at the 'friends' table.
You know, the table where nobody
knows who the hell you are.
You're just kind of
like sitting there?
And I, uh,
I spilled champagne
all over her dress.
- Oh, all over my dress.
- Yup.
And then I freak, 'cause I,
I realize how beautiful she is.
- It still gives me goosebumps.
- Yeah.
We were born in the same town,
Silverton, Oregon -
less than 10,000 people -
within a week of each other.
We travelled nearly a million
miles to find one another.
And we did.
And it is all because
I asked him to pass the salt.
You had that planned.
I know. I did...
It worked.
I'm so glad that it's all
going digity boop, you know?
But, I don't know...
Sounds a little scary,
if I'm perfectly honest.
Mmmm.
I'm trying to talk to my friend?
- Sorry.
- God.
Oh, hi!
- You kill me.
- I know.
Seriously, though.
C'mon.
I think it's getting
a little out of control, no?
The unbuttoning of the shirt.
What about all the eye blazing
that goes on between you?
I mean, come on.
Who does that?
Eye blazing? Seriously?
You're the writer.
Call it what you want.
Seriously, though, you know,
this is the oldest and most
tragic game in the book!
Lonely housewife meets quite
fascinating lesbo
to take a wee stroll
on the wild side!
You gotta grow some
mini cojones - stat!
You've gotta tell her
what's going on.
Yeah... No.
No, no, no, I can't.
Peyton, she's straight.
And married to a pastor!
Not to mention
she's culturally challenged.
It's kind of twisted how much
you've got going against you.
Alright, you belabor
the obvious.
I've added an
assignment out of town.
I'm gonna, when I come back...
I've already decided.
I'm gonna make
myself less available.
Actually unavailable.
Oh!
The I'm-too-busy-and-
too-much-of-a-chicken-shit-
to-tell-you-what's-
really-going-on,
fade-into-the-woodwork
treatment.
- Yup.
- Oh.
Well, I hope it works out.
You came all the way
over here to say that to me?
- I did.
- You could have just called.
I did call.
[doorbell chimes]
Hey!
Hi!
I wanted to show
you these pictures.
God, Peyton, you look amazing!
Really...
Great! Wow.
Um, um...
I should have called first, huh?
No, no, it's just, you didn't
have to come all the way
over...here, that's all.
Yeah, maybe this
isn't a good time.
No...
No, no, no.
I, I, I was actually, um -
you know what?
Uh, this is as good
a time as any.
Can you give me a second?
OK...
Oh, my God.
What am I doing?
Pants, pants,
pants, pants...
Oh!
Shirt is over here,
shirt, shirt, shirt.
You're kidding.
Oh, my God.
She won't even care.
You're straight.
And married.
No big deal.
Just tell her....
Oh, my God.
OK.
Hey.
Look, Elena--
I really should have called...
first.
I need to talk to
you about something.
Sure.
Are you OK?
No, actually.
This, I mean, nothing serious,
it's just that, um...
I...
Would you like some breakfast,
English tea and breakfast?
For God sakes, what's going on?
Uh, this is ridiculous.
Alright, um, first of all,
you're straight.
And second of all -
you're straight
and married.
And my God...
I so didn't want this to happen.
I mean, you know that
I'm a lesbian.
Right?
Um, yes.
OK.
So...that's it.
That's what?
- What?
- What I just said.
Which is?
Ah!
You know...
I...really like you.
I like you, too.
More than I should.
So...
We don't, you know, have to
talk about it or anything.
I mean,
I'm fine with that.
I just think that if we just
don't spend time--
No! No!
No, God, Peyton.
No!
I don't want to not spend time!
I mean, you just
heard what I said.
Yes, but we...
We need to be
in each others lives!
I just found you!
You're my absolute best friend
and I know we can
get around this.
No.
I don't want to not be with you.
And you can have all of me.
All of it except for that.
All of me.
OK.
Just so you know...
That is a big
deal for a lesbian.
I mean, at least
in the beginning.
I just...
Peyton, let's have some wine.
Let's make a plan.
Just please, please don't
take you away from me.
OK.
- I'll get some wine.
- OK.
Yes...these are God's children.
But they have lost their way.
And we cannot simply
award this deviant path
by allowing them the sacred
sacrament of marriage.
And they think if they
can twist enough arms
in the political arena
that they can
win this...prize.
But marriage
isn't a prize, is it?
It's a gift.
The greatest right that we have.
And it should not be tarnished.
It will NOT be tarnished!
What the hell was that?
Do you know what it looks like
when you walk out of a sermon?
Barry, don't.
Look, you know, Elena,
there's some of this stuff
that I just have to do.
Yes.
I am familiar with the
greater good speech.
And you've always been good
about these compromises -
until now...
You've had gay friends before.
[with accent]
Back in your grand
theater days.
Nash, I'm just saying
I think people should know
they should not be rewarded
for bad behavior.
Bad behavior?
Get real, Dad!
Selling your soul
is bad behavior.
Loving someone isn't!
You know, it's only a matter
of time before this entire
marriage discussion
is so 2000 and late.
Everyone knows Millie's the
money at Papa Bear's church.
Maybe we should
cut him some slack,
'cause he's pretty screwed
if he doesn't toe the line.
Are you hungry?
I'm going to make some dinner.
This person makes
you see the world
through a different filter.
No matter how hard you try,
this person is suddenly living
in every corner of your mind.
I don't know what to say,
I, um...
You know, I spent the whole
day looking at lesbian sites.
No, I'm not attracted...
to them.
I'm not...
attracted to any of
the women in them...
I don't think
I'm a lesbian, Peyton.
You're not the only
one with feelings.
Oh, I'm so confused, Peyton.
Can't we just agree
to call it a serious crush?
Oh, all I can think about is...
You OK?
Yeah.
Something's burning.
[doorbell chimes]
Hey!
Oh, I knew you'd feel like this.
Oh, so soft.
So soft like velvet.
Stop.
Don't go any further.
You can leave now
if you want to.
Really?
Are you afraid to
be alone with me?
Yes.
Seriously?
Seriously.
♪
Hi!
Hey, are you busy?
No, I'm free.
Yeah.
Do you want to have dinner?
Great.
I'll be there in 15 minutes.
OK.
- Hi!
I thought you guys
went to the movies!
We missed you too much.
It was sold out, Mom.
Can we have some burgers?
- Dinner's in the fridge.
- Awesome!
- Did you pick up some beer?
- In the fridge.
Yes. I see.
But only because God's
love heals and allows me
to see the sin within myself,
to purge those temptations -
those desires that
are the devil's work.
And only with God's love,
God's glorious love...
How many of us want to
push those terrible urges
from those base human impulses?
Those craven desires of flesh
that push us to do things
we know are wrong?
I don't know.
I can't decide.
I love this one.
It's got this essence
of like, comrades, you know?
But this one -
oh, it's just so damn good.
What do you think?
Hmmm?
Make love to me, Peyton.
I thought you wanted to wait...
To see if you...
Peyton, make love to me.
I want to, Elena, trust me.
But...once we go there,
there's no going back.
I don't want to go back.
Are you OK?
Yes.
Are you?
Elena...
stay with me...
(voices on monitor)
Oh, I know how I knew.
Um, when you kiss, it's like you
live inside that kiss forever...
Hey, sweetie,
just give me a second.
...but yet it feels brand new.
It is a good thing she is
not a controlled substance.
- Yeah!
- That's all I'm sayin'.
She's far more dangerous.
OK, I'll bite.
So...
What's with the shimmering
new and improved you, huh?
Oh, Tyler...
What you are doing is
the very definition of insanity.
I'm in love.
For the first time,
for the only time in my life.
Gorgeous straight housewife.
Never had sex
with a woman before.
Thinks she's died
and gone to heaven.
Now what?
What happened to you telling me
to do things that
make me feel good?
OK, I am trying to put
my cynicism on one side.
Good.
'Cause I'd just like to
stay in my happy place
for a second more,
if you don't mind.
Oh, happy place.
Oh my God!
Alright, OK.
Now that you have completely
taken my breath away,
we're gonna sit down, and you're
gonna tell me everything.
Yeah, you two walk
off into the sunset,
no dead bodies strewn behind...
Alright, I mean, every
teeny, tiny, minuscule, minute,
infinitesimal,
mother fucking detail!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Are you done now?
- Probably.
- That's great.
Now I have this big
fat foreclosure sign
on my happy place.
I'm so happy!
I can see it!
Oh!
It's OK.
Perhaps some
of you are thinking,
epic love can't happen to me.
But when true love enters
your life, epic happens.
We worked in the same
company all of our lives.
And for 27 years,
we passed each other by
and never said
one word to each other.
Sometimes he would
nod and smile.
But always very pleasant.
Then I had a heart attack.
I thought I don't have much more
time to let things pass me by.
I'm not going to waste
one more minute.
So when he came back to work,
he came right up to me and said,
I'm not going to waste
one more minute of my life.
I'm not Fred Astaire,
but I'd like to
take you dancing.
And after three weeks of that
wonderful dancing date,
we were married.
And we haven't spent
a moment apart since.
Mmm, hmm.
The heart knows
what the heart knows.
- Right?
- Right.
You are desperate
to be with them,
and you will move heaven
and earth to do so.
I'm too old
for youth camp, Dad.
I'll drop you off
with the seniors,
and maybe Tori and I
can just whoop it up.
Come on.
You always have fun.
- Oh, alright.
- I love you.
Look.
I know.
You made it great!
It looks wonderful!
- Bye.
- Bye, honey.
I'll be back tomorrow.
I'll give you a call later.
OK... Bye.
Bye!
Everything's so
different with you.
Elena, what are you doing?
What I want.
Elena...
Shhh...
Peyton, I love you.
Good morning!
- There you go.
- Thank you.
We better not start.
Eat.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Do you make
breakfast for him like this?
He doesn't eat breakfast.
Anything else
you'd like to know?
Actually, yes.
Look...
It is what it is.
Which is...what?
- Which is what?
- Peyton, don't.
Tell me.
I want to know.
Oh, come on, like...
how does it happen?
How does he come on to you?
- Oh, my God.
- When?
Like every other day?
Every day?
What about your date
nights on Saturday?
Is it like every Saturday
or every other month--
You really ask
a lot of questions.
What?
I'm... I'm a woman.
Tell me.
Look, I don't know
what you're hunting for,
but the sad fact is
that we just don't
connect that way.
I thought it would be easier
to hear it means nothing,
but it does not.
Peyton, I have to
tell you something.
We are taking
a vacation to Hawaii...
It's our annual vacation...
Oh!
...and I really wanted
to tell you sooner,
but I didn't want to
ruin our time together.
What?
The little fact that
you were going on some
romantic vacation with
your husband in Hawaii?
I know, I know, I know.
Come on!
He hasn't touched me
since we've been together.
You know that, right?
Oh, my God.
What was I thinking?
Who could think?
You know what?
You, you're gonna have
to do it eventually.
You'll end up
doing it, right?
It means nothing.
No...
You'll make us
mean nothing.
[cell phone rings]
Great.
Hi.
I'll be there.
How long will it be
before you're home?
Yes, I'll be there.
- I have to go.
- Go.
See ya.
Aren't you even going
to kiss me goodbye?
I will call you.
(Peyton)
I miss you.
Honestly, I missed you before
our last kiss was finished.
I just want you to know
that I am with you.
Elena, your beauty
radiates from your soul.
I finally understand
the cliched term -
take one's breath away.
You take my breath away.
When you kiss me...
Oh, God...
When you kiss me, Elena...
I remember the night
you showed up
and made love to me
with no words.
Elena, I have never
let anyone have me,
let anyone
take me,
ravage me,
as I have let you.
You have given me
such a gift -
the other side of myself.
You've made me whole.
Wow...
Can anyone say,
Outed in Maui?
Yeah.
I was looking for an
aspirin in my mom's suitcase...
This is what I found.
I know you're upset.
When you
came after me...
Everyone thought
I was a goober.
But you didn't care.
I think, um...
your mom's
just following her heart.
Hey.
I never would have
expected that to happen.
I'm so sorry!
Yeah, well...
A lot of unexpected scenarios
could have happened
since your wedding
anniversary's this weekend--
Peyton, I'm...
What? What?
Never mind.
I really have to go.
- Um...
- Alright.
- I'll call you tomorrow.
- Sure.
♪
I'm so sorry.
I know this is the third
time I've had to cancel...
I want to see you.
I need to see you.
- Hey.
- Hi.
What's with you now?
Nothing. I'm just tired.
You're just tired?
You had a long day?
- Yeah.
Well, you know what?
Maybe I'm tired...
Maybe I've had a long day.
What?
Look...
I don't want to fight.
The last time I checked...
there's two of us
in this marriage!
Is it too much time to ask
to spend a little time
on our anniversary?
One of us is
still here doing things.
And the other one is just...
letting everything slide.
The laundry's sliding,
Nash is sliding.
This is sliding!
I need to go to bed.
Shit!
♪
[cell phone beeps]
[conversation in car]
Hey.
Oh, I missed you!
What is it?
I just...
want to look at you.
I only have an hour.
He didn't touch me.
He didn't.
[laughter]
What the hell
are you doing home?
You know better
than to cut school.
Oh...
Is this the pot
calling the kettle black?
Father God knows all?
Except for apparently
what's going on around here.
What's that supposed to mean?
[gasps]
Oh, my God!
Your son is quickly on the
verge of becoming unmanageable.
I'm always here for Nash!
No! You're not!
Nash is going through
something right now,
and I need you to get your
head back in the game.
I'm going to bed.
I love the way
you make me feel.
And since your mom is
missing half the goddamn time.
Can you spell clueless?
Hey!
You don't talk to me that way.
No matter what else happens,
I'm still your father.
Your mom is just
following her heart.
Every time I think
it's impossible
to love you more, I do.
Ever deeper.
Hello?
Where is she?
I've been calling non-stop
for the past two hours.
Tori?
Look.
I'm on your side, OK?
So you can drop the pretense.
Nash is in trouble.
Tori?
He lifted some really nasty
Boonesberry, got snookered
and then returned to
the scene of the crime
for some Doritos,
of all things.
- Is he safe?
- Typical acting out with teens.
Their frontal lobe doesn't
take into consideration--
- Tori! Is he safe?
- Not to worry!
Once they found out Papa Bear
was a pastor, they let him out.
Now they're both at home,
wondering where you are.
I gotta go.
Nash?
What were you thinking?
What the hell
were you thinking?
Excuse me?
What are we talking about here?
You and your
dirty little secret!
Yeah!
I read her letters!
I even liked her!
Nash!
What were you doing
going through my things?!
Don't you dare
turn this around on me.
Nash, listen to me.
I wasn't looking for this.
God knows I don't
really understand it.
And I certainly didn't
realize what was happening
until it was too late.
You are going to tell Dad.
I certainly planned on
telling him before you!
So then what?
Are you guys going
to get a divorce?
I'm not sure, Nash...
I don't really
know what I'm doing.
Then stop!
Now, I think he's
an asshole half the time,
but this will kill him, Mom.
It will blow his
whole ridiculous act.
I mean, how's he supposed
to guide his fawning flock
when his wife is sleeping
with the enemy?
Nash, I need you to
understand something.
I have never been dishonest
or cheated on your
father before this.
But I've never been
in love with him either.
Then why, Mom?
Why stay with him
this whole time?
Why do you think, honey?
It's OK, baby.
Where were you?
As if I have to ask.
I already told you...
I was at the park.
Even with challenges
seemingly insurmountable,
true love will find a way.
So we met in group.
Big surprise.
And, uh, it was weird
because my Robert,
who rarely comes out,
just fell so head-over
for her Jane.
Thing is, her Jane is in control
of all her personalities.
Yeah, but it's
still hell for me.
Because when I want Robert,
I have to do battle
with all his alters.
And to be quite frank,
he's got some rather
unappealing personas.
But when Robert does
come through...
Oh, my God.
My Jane is just so deeply
and completely in love with him.
I love you.
Robert?
Jane.
I missed you so much.
Hi.
Come here.
It may be cliche,
but it's true.
Love really can conquer just
about anything out there.
- Do you really think so?
- I really think so.
Look, I know things are
crazy over there right now,
but I just wanted to
make sure Nash is OK.
Call me.
I feel like it's about
to devastate everything I know.
What am I doing?
Look at all the
people I'm hurting!
You can't rewrite the past,
but you can reframe the present.
What a gift
you have been given!
I have never seen you
so alive and joyous
and in touch
and full of passion!
Peyton makes you breathe!
- You alright?
- Yeah.
Are you sitting down?
I'm telling you, I just saw
her kissing another woman
in the plain light of day.
I knew something
was up with her.
Not wanting to protest,
missing services.
But this!
I know this week
has been really rough.
She must be one of those...
I can't even say it.
I, I, I, don't...
the word just doesn't
come out of my mouth...
Lesbian.
Oh my gosh.
She's going to hell.
Maybe we should pull
back a little, you know?
Just until things settle down.
You don't have
to feel so guilty.
And I can get my
head screwed back on.
Where is all this coming from?
You don't get it.
I am...too far in.
I understand
that you're scared,
and all the reasons
that you don't trust.
Don't you know by now,
Peyton, this is what I want?
I have never lied to you.
And I never will.
I guess at this point,
I really don't know that, Elena.
You don't believe me?
I knew when
I was getting into it...
It is what it is.
I just...
I just don't think I can do it.
Peyton...
This just can't
happen overnight.
I have been married
for fifteen years.
My family won't -
they can't - understand this.
Just give me some time.
I...
What?
I can... I can work it out!
I just need to know that you're
going to be there with me.
I believe they call that having
your cake and eating it, too.
I don't think that
I can do this halfway.
You are doing it halfway.
I saw them with my own eyes,
and it should come from me.
He trusts me,
and I'm the one to do it.
Don't you see a future with us?
Sorry.
Maybe limited,
but no, I...
I'm sorry.
♪
♪ Pieces, falling ♪
♪ Through the sky,
I'm wanting ♪
♪ To feel you
beneath me ♪
♪ But not like this,
believe me ♪
♪ No, I can't wake up ♪
♪ No, I can't crash down ♪
♪ To half that's lost ♪
♪ And half that's found ♪
♪ I can't believe that you ♪
♪ Would leave me this way... ♪
They were what?
No way!
♪ I am broken now
into a thousand pieces ♪
♪ You have stolen one ♪
♪ It's a piece I needed ♪
♪ I can't open up ♪
♪ You can't close me shut ♪
♪ I am broken... ♪
♪ Pieces, floating ♪
♪ Up off the ground exploding ♪
♪ I feel you above me ♪
♪ But not like this ♪
♪ Don't rush me ♪
♪ 'Cause I cannot look ♪
♪ No, I cannot find ♪
♪ The half that's yours ♪
♪ And half that's mine ♪
♪ I can't believe that you ♪
♪ Would leave me this way ♪
♪ I am broken up... ♪♪
Don't do this to us.
[crying]
Mommy! Mommy!
Peyton, honey, what's wrong?
Peyton, honey,
what's the matter?
It's Molly...
She's moving.
And I love her so much!
Get a hold of yourself.
This is an important
lesson to learn in life.
When you love,
expect disappointment.
It's just the way it is...
It's just the way it is.
And finally,
this connection has
fundamentally changed you...
Significantly altered
you to - the - core.
You know what the
hell you're doing?
I didn't come to fight...
I knew you'd need this.
You know, Elena,
maybe Nash was right.
You know,
maybe I am clueless,
but I know one thing
if I know nothing else.
You are not a lesbian.
You're right. I'm not.
Then why the hell
are you doin' this?
To us?
To Nash?
I mean, it just doesn't
make any sense to me.
And don't even get me
started on how selfish this is.
Nash needs us.
You're right.
Nash needs us.
He needs us.
The real us...
The best of us!
My God, Barry,
I'm done lying...
What?
To him! To you!
To myself!
This...
It has nothing to
do with Peyton.
It has everything
to do with Peyton.
This is my decision
about my son and my life!
I should have been done
with this charade years ago!
Charade?
A Charade?
Are you serious?
You got on this
thing from the very start!
And that was selfish.
Being here, and not really
being inside it with you.
I'm done with this Barry.
And if it's selfish, so be it.
- It is selfish.
- Barry, I'm done with this.
- Elena, I--
- I'm done.
I finished all the classes,
did all the paperwork.
She said that I can be looking
at placements within weeks.
Oh, God!
And that's because you're not,
you're not letting
anything get in your way.
No, no. No worries.
Keeping one focus,
and one focus only.
Gosh, Wave,
I'm going to be a mom!
Yeah!
I'll be right around
for auntie duty
just after that whaa! stage.
You'll be there.
Hey, I know it's taken a while,
but you finally look like
you're among the living.
And that would be the spray tan.
Hey.
Wow, that is so bizarre.
I was just reading this
morning about the correlation
of coincidence with the
concept of fatalism.
Oh, yeah?
Which would, you know,
throw a great deal of weight
to the premise that all of us
running into one another was...
probably inevitable.
Elena.
Hi.
Oh, Christ.
- Are you kidding me?
- I can explain.
- Don't.
- Peyton.
Just save it!
Don't talk to my mom like that.
- Peyton, please listen to me.
- No, no, no.
You've been fucking
him this whole time?
- No!
- You played me!
- I didn't.
- Yeah, you did.
You think you could
just come into my world?
I might be the fool, but you
are nothing but a selfish whore.
Elena! Elena!
Help!
Help! Somebody call 911!
How could I go to the hospital?
I don't belong there.
You couldn't know.
Peyton, you took a chance.
You know, you took
a huge, beautiful risk.
[doorbell chimes]
She just doesn't quit!
Does she?
Sending you around here
to do her dirty work for her.
Peyton...
She needs you.
Nash...
Please...
Please.
Peyton!
You alright?
She's fine.
Baby's doing just dandy.
Look, I'm glad
everything's alright,
but I have no idea
why I'm here.
Peyton, please.
Just sit, and listen.
I know you're upset...
but please understand.
This entire last year was
never supposed to happen.
It was never even
imaginable to me.
I fell in love with you...
A woman.
Yes, I'm pregnant,
but it's not because
I've been sleeping with Barry.
Barry hasn't touched me
since we started.
It's Tyler...
Tyler's the father.
Trust me, we weren't
sleeping together either.
Lily would have--
After all those years
of infertility hell...
Tyler offered and I accepted.
It's my greatest
contribution to mankind.
- You OK?
- Yeah.
Why didn't you tell me?
After all this time.
My God,
I was so hateful to you.
Peyton, I must have tried to
call you a thousand times,
but I...
I had things to take care of.
Nash...
Barry...
Starting my divorce.
And during that time,
Tyler's little guys
hit the jackpot,
and I got pregnant.
I just need you to know...
that none...
none of what
we had was a lie.
It was the truest
thing I have ever known.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry that I was
so hateful...
I'm so sorry.
Look at me.
- You're pregnant!
- Yeah.
That's awesome!
So awesome!
I miss you.
I miss you, too.
You're so beautiful.
Oh, I've missed you so much.
I've missed you so much.
♪ Suddenly... ♪
♪ I want to know
your life story ♪
♪ Make a film of you ♪
♪ And I... ♪
♪ Want to read a book on you ♪
♪ Finally, Suddenly... ♪
Yes. All is as it should be.
Soulemetry.